The Mrs Doubtfire look..

You know when you have a baby and everyone says “oh, he sooo looks like you” or “he has your eyes”? I was reading an article the other day that explained we always say this because it’s an evolutionary ploy from prehistoric time to make us fathers think that the baby is indeed ours and we won’t throw it off a cliff but will stay at home in the cave and take out the prehistoric trash. This seems quite logical but I have to question one of two things about that.

First of all, how do researchers know this, it’s not like Stone age man left additional messages on those cave walls in southern France saying “This is a picture of me hunting the Mammoth…and this is my son, doesn’t he look like me?” I don’t think Stone Age man got past the stick drawing stage and during those times I’d imagine there was some difficulty in knowing which was your child and which was a small monkey (don’t think things have changed much these days if truth be told), throwing a banana into a gang of children would be the only way of sorting out which ones were actually Homosapians and which ones were destined to become a bosom pal of Tarzan..

…assuming one could find a box of banana’s in the back of the cave..

So the article was making an assumption but the other thing is that do I really want my child to look like me, I know a lot of folk will stand there all googly-eyed and say the baby is beautiful but honestly, I’ve seen some babies that look like ET on a bad day, and I’ve seen some babies that were so ugly the paint would peel off the wall every time they came into a room. No, I don’t want my kids to look like me, especially if I happen to be a built like a Rugby Scrum Half, I want the fruit of my loins to look like George Cloony’s/Angelina Jolie’s love child, not like some extra from a Shrek movie.

And what happens if the fruit of your loins happens to be a girl, “oh, she looks so like you..” take it from me, Rugby Scrum Half is ‘not’ a good look for any child, unless of course, you happen to be a fan of the Mrs Doubtfire look..

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