The Hobbit

It’s the end of December 2011 and Peter Jackson has released the trailer for The Hobbit just in a nick of time because we won’t be able to go see it for a whole year, until December 2012. According to Hollywood the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012 so getting to watch The Hobbit is going to be a close run thing. Not.

I have a friend who’s from the West Country and he auditioned for a part in the first Lord of the Rings movie but didn’t get the part. This was understandable, he’s a crap actor but he went to watch the movie and was surprised to see that absolutely everyone in the movie spoke with a West County accent! Pissed would be an understatement. I told him he should have applied to be a voice coach.

When I started Secondary school we had to read a choice of books, there was J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, Jack London’s Call of the Wild and D. H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover*. I got stuck into The Hobbit and read it in a few evenings but then discovered we were expected to write a critique of it in 600 words or more… bugger. This was a bit of a drag because The Hobbit barely has 600 words in the entire short novel and my critique would exceed that (okay okay, I exaggerate – a bit), however, it’s nothing compared to the ginormous task Peter Jackson faces because somehow he has to make three two hour movies out of The Hobbit and I’m not sure how he’s going to do that without turning it into a musical – which, by the look of the trailer is exactly what he plans to do. If they all started doing a Cornish version of Riverdance or Last of the Mohicans then I’m asking for my money back.

I must admit it’s interesting watching that trailer, it’s like being reacquainted with an old friend, and not just the LOTR movies but with the book from about 40 years ago and I think The Hobbit is stalking me, The Hobbit was the first text based adventure game I played on the ZX Spectrum and I kept getting killed by the giant spider dropping down from the tree. I better not tell you too much or I’ll spoil the musical ermm I mean movie for you.

It’s really hard not to write The Bobbit here, you know that, don’t you?

(* ok, it wasn’t Lady Chatterley’s Lover, I was just seeing if you’re paying attention, it was some awful book titled Last Tango In Paris, no-one choose it..)