So… been trying out internet dating again for a while and it’s been an interesting experience. Almost immediately I met up with a local inmate who described herself as ‘athletic’ but it turns out emailing is fattening, extremely fattening and she had put on a huge amount of weight in three emails. Next please… next was ..well actually just best to list them
- Lady who didn’t mention she was about to bugger off to Australia for a month..tomorrow! but wanted to keep chatting! (But why are you on a dating site when you are away off for a month?)
- Lady who said about three words and then told me off for filling in the conversational gaps (again…why are you on a dating website?)
- Lady who berated me for holding the car door open for her, apparently she’s QUITE capable of doing her own door..
- Lady who was very obviously closer to 60 than 50
- Lady who was ‘technically’ separated but still living with her husband..and sleeping in same bed
- Lady who was really living in St Petersberg, not London
There’s been a few more, some of them even nice and sane but no one who was sticky..is that the right term…no-one I wanted to stick around with… It’s been interesting…did you ever watch Ray Mears doing his survival program…he goes into the bush, picks up a few twigs and some dry grass, rubs them together and ever so gently, sooo gently blows softly on the smoldering grass..until it bursts into flames. That’s what it’s like with dating, you have to find someone with that small spark and you have to gently try to look after that spark and try your best to fan it into a proper fire..
OR…you can cheat.
A friend of mine was in work the other day visiting, she’s on maternity leave and she brought in her two month old son. It was really interesting, as I held him there were about six or seven woman in the office and they all came over and coo-ed over him..and I realised two things…
1. A babies world is just full of smiling people…everywhere he looks people are just smiling at him
2. Babies have this smell that women can’t resist..the baby smell..I could smell it quite clearly and as the other girls got close I realised this was what they were smelling too…it’s a unique smell and if someone could bottle it into aftershave they would make a fortune as woman can’t resist it..somewhat ironically I’ve realised that babies are real babe magnets..