OK, this is not for you lot, it’s a serious one for my two boys so when they read this (eventually) they might learn the lesson it’s taken me 50 years to figure out.
This is my fourth epiphany and the second one I’m prepared to share publically, it’s taken a lot of life experience to figure this one out, in fact, between thou and I, I think the Universe had all but given up trying to teach me this lesson but after beating my thick Irish skull with a wooden mallet for the last 50 years I think I’ve finally got it, (by jove, I think he’s finally got’it!)
In the past I’ve been treated very shoddily by some woman, dumped without explanation, dropped for no apparent reason, two timed frequently (funny story there!), disappeared “aka had a sudden tragic yachting accident” as my friend Kate would say and treated rather shoddily, some woman and some friends and even family have been pretty shitty towards me and for the most part I felt I didn’t really deserve it, I’ve tried to be decent and I too have my fair share of things I’m not proud of but in the last few years I’ve really tried to do the right thing, I haven’t always been successful but on balance I hope I’ve done the decent thing more often than not. And in particular during the last five years quite a few folk have disappointed me and treated me very badly, and I’ve got annoyed and frustrated and well.. deeply hurt and couldn’t figure out how this ‘life thing’ works, I thought that if you treated people decently then that’s how they treated you but my model of the Universe appeared to be broken, for the nicer I treated people it seemed the more shitty they treated me and I was at a loss to explain this, it wasn’t how it was meant to be, you attract into your own sphere the same sort of people you are, people on the same level as you, so why I was getting shit on all the time, something else was going on here and I think I’ve finally figured it out.
You see, the epiphany is this, that a big big part of real love is constant forgiveness and this is what the Universe has been trying to hammer into me for the last 50 years, if you do actually love someone then if it’s really love then you have no choice but to forgive them and this doesn’t just apply to partners and ex-partners but it also applies to colleagues, friends, family, children (!), even parents, no matter what they have done, if you love them then you can do nothing else but forgive them for that is what love is, I know that’s a big step and sometimes after such a shitty time a very difficult thing to do but this is the very nature of love and to be in love is to forgive them.
I know my two boys won’t get this just yet and may not get this for quite a few years but hopefully one day they will understand and their lives will be all the richer for it. I wish someone had explained this to me when I was their age, would have saved me one hell of a lot of heartache. You may find this website educational.