Continuing in the series of recycled town names, these are towns in UK that really their name is wasted on them so I think we should recycle the name and put it to better use.
Wartnaby; something you only discover about somebody the very first time they take their clothes off in front of you.
Scorrier; a small hunting dog specially trained to snuffle amongst your private parts.
Ely; the first, tiniest inkling that something, somewhere, has gone terribly wrong.
Scramoge; to cut oneself whilst licking an envelope.
Boinka; the noise through the wall that tells you that next door is getting more sex than you.
Kingston Bagpuise; a forty year old sixteen stone man trying to commit suicide by jogging.
Ewelme; the smile bestowed on you by an airline trolly dolly
Hoff; to deny something that is palpably true.
Osawk; one whom offers to help after all the work is done.
Ramsgate; doors that open the opposite way to what you expect.
Timble; of small children that fall gently and then look around to see if any adult was watching where upon they scream blue murder.
Skoonspruit; the tiny garden sprinkler thing your open mouth does for no apparent reason.
Polyphant; the mythical beast – part bird – part snake – part jam stain, which invariably win children’s painting competitions in the age 5-7 age group
Spofforth; to try to tidy up a room before your parents or the cleaning lady arrives
Wawne; a badly suppressed yawn.