Questions reporters never ask.

Worn out?

Here in the UK we got a new government last May, a Lib-Con coalition and the outgoing administration was Labour. The BBC is obviously very keen to ask the new Prime Minister David Cameron, lots of policy questions about the economy and how the UK is going to handle the Credit Crunch..

I, on the other hand am much more interested in the more gory details of having a new PM.

What I’d really like to know is this; on Monday night Gordon and Sarah Brown slept in Number 10 Downing street and on Tuesday night David and Samantha slept in the same bed… did they change the sheets, did they feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed that his arch enemy slept in, the same bed they had rumpy-pumpy in (and doubtlessly the same bed Tony Blair conceived his child!), I’m not sure I’d want to sleep in the same bed my arch enemy slept in, was it still warm, did Gordon do a big fart under the duvet before leaving the house, after all, he ‘did’ have a mysterious grin as he left… and is David Cameron now having a dump on the very same toilet that Gordan sat on and shat, is that the same toilet tissue? And other little things, is David spreading Marmite on his toast using the same knife Gordon doubtlessly licked (us Celts have terrible table manners!) and has David had to get someone in to change all the channels on the TV from Rugby to Cricket.. These things occupy my mind much more than budgets and European Human Rights, I know they shouldn’t but they do..

And I wonder was it the same for Obama, did he sleep in the White house the first night and say to Michelle “Do you smell something funny..?”

I had a friend who went through a bitter bitter divorce, the divorce from hell and her ex insisted on getting exactly half the contents of the previous home, he was a total bastard to be honest and made a list of everything he wanted, sooooo my friend sent everything along one thing at a time but before she sent them along her and her new boyfriend had a shag on the item of furniture, knowing that her ex would be eating his breakfast on a table that she shagged her boyfriend on gave her even more pleasure than the actual shagging..

I’m wondering, is David Cameron sitting there eating breakfast in Number 10 Downing street and thinking “I wonder why the kitchen table seems a bit worn in that spot…..”

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