Most folk get their pearls of wisdom from the older generation, I have made a point of passing on as many pearls of wisdom to my two boys as possible but the problem is, I never knew my father, he was pretty much absent all my life, so I’ve been thinking recently just where to get my own pearls of wisdom to pass on. Most folk would naturally educate themselves via some fine novels; Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, Billy Connellys autobiographies spring to mind but as usual my mind won’t let me follow the conventional route and thus I have decided to get my pearls of wisdom from some show I’ve never actually watched called Sex And The City.
“You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothin’.”
“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
“The thing is this, after a while, you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh. Know what I mean?”
–Big to Carrie
“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”
“It’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes — that’s why you sometimes need really special shoes!”
“It takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them.”
“I’m thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It’s just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it. [Carrie]”
“Samantha: Carrie, you can’t date your fuck buddy.
Carrie: Say it a little louder, I don’t think the old lady in the last row heard you.”
“Women don’t care. We care about nice arms, great eyes, a big dick… I’ve never once heard a woman say: “He had such a big full scrotum.””
“Despite the fact that there are over eight million people on the island of Manhattan, there are times you still feel shipwrecked and alone. Times even the most resourceful survivor would feel the need to put a message in a bottle, or on an answering machine”
“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it.”
“My Zen teacher also said: the only way to true happiness is to live in the moment and not worry about the future. Of course, he died penniless and single. [Carrie]”
“I want you to look at me, connect with me. This is lovemaking, it’s not a porno flick. [Maria]”
“I think it’s romantic when someone offers me a seat on the subway. [Carrie]”
“It took me a really long time to get here, but I’m here. Carrie, you’re the one. [Mr.Big]”
“Men in their forties are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and you’re never really sure you got the right answer. [Carrie]”
“Lady: I’ve been waiting for two days and so far, no one’s gotten in yet [the doctor’s office].
Samantha: I was once told I wouldnt’ be able to get backstage to see Mick Jagger. Well I did get backstage…and I blew him. [Silence] Excuse me… I don’t know if this is an appropriate question to ask…
Lady: I think we passed appropriate a few seconds ago.
Samantha: What kind of cancer do you have?
Samantha: Breast! Me too. I’m curious…Do you have children?
Lady: I’m a nun.
Samantha: You have none.
Lady: No, no, no…I AM a nun. But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy your Mick Jagger story.
Samantha: I thought that nuns had to wear…
Lady: Oh, I haven’t worn a habbit in years.
Samantha: So then…you don’t have sex?
Samantha: Never had sex?
Samantha: Ohh. [thoughtful silence] Just one more.
Lady: Go right ahead.
Samantha: Are you allowed to masturbate?
Lady: [thinking] I never asked. But thanks for getting my mind off cancer for the first time in a week.
Samantha: Happy to help.”
“Maybe the past is an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.”
“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”
There, that should be the boys sorted out for the rest of their lives.
PS I like the sound of Samantha!!