Out-Holying Each Other

There is a book out here in the UK called My Life In Orange, it’s the childhood memories of Tim Guest growing up in a hippie community during the early eighties. The title of the book comes from the fact that everyone wore orange coloured hippy clothes. Orange is like the seventies – the decade fashion passed by..

So Tim spent a lot of time in this community of 200 mums and dads who wore lots of orange and practised free love and chanted a lot. One would think that within a community of ermmm ‘enlightened souls’ that there would be no politics or backstabbing..however that was not the case. There was always this pressure to ‘out-holy’ each other when in groups. A typical round the table discussion going like this;

“well, of course I’m vegetarian, eating meat is wrong”
“well ..I’m vegan”
“well, I’m vegan and won’t wear leather shoes”
“well, I vegan, won’t wear leather shoes and this belt is made out of recycled newspapers”
“well, I never leave the house incase I cause a butterfly to move from it’s chosen path..”
“well, I’m vegan, and won’t wear leather and this stew is made entirely out of recycled Dingo dung..”
“well, I’ve stopped breathing incase I pollute Mother Earth with my carbon dioxide and use sign language to chant my mantra to Mother Earth”

So everyone was always trying to out-holy each other…

I was reminded of this the other week. I meet up with a bunch of nutters to chat about Life, The Universe and Everything every once in a blue moon, really really nice folk and it’s the idea of coming together with like minded souls (which is exactly why I refer to them as my Nutters). However there is one chap there, Bob we’ll call him, who likes to out-holy everyone else, no matter what you have done, he’s done it better and he likes to say something holy and then bask in the appreciative nods of approval from almost everyone else…

So the other week we were discussing the homeless and begging on the street and he said “well, of course, every time I see a beggar on the street, rather than walk past, I say to myself ‘what would Jesus Christ do?’ ” and everyone nodded their head and he basked in that warm (smug) glow…

Sadly, I was in my usual mischievous mood…and no longer able to bear it any longer I said “well, yes, of course I think almost the exact thing when I see beggars in the street with one slight difference, I think to myself ‘what would Homer Simpson do….’ ” Bob glared at me…darkly.. but everyone else was too busy sniggering..

I’m going to hell, aren’t I?

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