After doing this whole on-line dating thang for a few years I thought I had got the hang of it, I had sussed out the unwritten rules and started to get a bit cocky, a bit over confident about meeting up with potential dates, I went on dates completely relaxed, no pressure and this of course made my dates relaxed as well, however, the Universe has got a wicked sense of humour and will always conspire to bring you down a peg or two.
I met up with Miss Opera Singer (MOS) in Convent Garden. She sang in the Convent Garden Opera chorus and I was interested in learning all about her vocation. What was surprising was how nice she was, I thought she was going to be a bit aloof but she was very down to earth (and hot!)
So we sat down for a meal and chatted away, I was very interested to know the in’s and out’s of opera chorus singing, do you need to know the language you are singing in, after all, the main ones are French, German and Italian so MOS explained that she knew a lot of French and Italian and so the words weren’t that difficult but she always had trouble with German as it was so guttural and a lot of the words didn’t sound the way they were spelt, a bit like our Southwark which is pronounced Suthuck
Anyway, I got such an education, we got on like a house on fire and I thought, yup, I can’t see why this won’t lead to a second date so I walked her to the tube station and chatted away. At the station, as is good manners, I thanked her for a very nice evening and then I completely blew it by stupidly saying the following;
Me: You are much nicer than I thought you were going to be..
MOS: What do you mean?
Me: (taking my spade out and digging a hole) Oh, sorry, I mean I thought you were going to be a bit stiff and formal because of your job (trying to make amends here) but you are actually very relaxing and easy to chat with..
Me: ermm (digging it even deeper) I mean ..sorry, I meant that single photo of you on the website seemed very formal but you are very relaxed… (back-peddling furiously!)
MOS: What’s ‘formal’ about that photo…? her face becoming quite annoyed now..
Me: ermm the dress is very …..business like.. but it’s nice to see you pitch up here in jeans and nice blouse.. (now getting a JCB excavator and digging the hole even deeper)
MOS: So what’s wrong with that dress! Face turning very angry..
Me: Nothing, NOTHING! I just thought….
MOS; That’s my favourite fucking dress!!
Me: (Shit!) Im sorry, I was trying to pay you a compliment but it came out all…
MOS; Fuck off!
and she stormed off indignantly..
Me: SO I SUPPOSE A SHAGS OUT’A THE QUESTION………….??
(OK so I didn’t say that – but I thought it!)
So in the space of one minute I blew it, all that effort, wasted. You see, the Universe doesn’t really like cocky people and will conspire to teach you, I mean me, a lesson.. OUCH!