Dating red flags.

Online dating red flags.

Hmmm here’s a tip, if you answer yes to any of the following then move along, there is nothing to see here.

  • You post pictures of your chest only.
  • You had a dream last night where God spoke to you and told you we were going to get married, have lots of rumpy-pumpy, loads of kids and live in a castle in Scotland..
  • You are strangely fascinated by fires/knives/pain/pick axe handles
  • You have absolutely no sense of humour.
  • You are on prescribed anti-psychotic meds.
  • You are currently seeing a shrink.
  • You are currently undergoing ECT.
  • You have OCD.
  • You think spandex is fashionable.
  • Your mother chooses your clothes.
  • Your mother dresses you.
  • You have never been further out of London than Croydon.
  • You have worked in the same job since you left school.
  • You want to have a threesome.
  • You weren’t born when the Berlin Wall fell.
  • You don’t know what the Berlin Wall even means.
  • You are electronically tagged.
  • You see a parole officer daily.
  • You dress like Dame Edna Everage or Camilla Parker Bowles
  • You live with your parents.
  • The only fours books you have in your home is the Good News Bible, The Illustrated Bible, The Big Text Bible and The Bible Guide.
  • You have never had sex voluntarily.
  • You claim to be a nubile 30yrs old but are in reality a kid in Nigeria trying to scam me.

There… that should sort the wheat from the chaff..Sadly these are (or were) some of the escaped lunatics who contacted me on OKC.  I know my profile did seem a bit like the kettle calling the teapot black but really, mine was tongue in cheek.

I’m starting to think the following;

  • No-one believes in love any more
  • No-one believes in monogamous long term relationships any more
  • No-one wants to work at a relationship

Bugger.

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