Online dating red flags.
- You post pictures of your chest only.
- You had a dream last night where God spoke to you and told you we were going to get married, have lots of rumpy-pumpy, loads of kids and live in a castle in Scotland..
- You are strangely fascinated by fires/knives/pain/pick axe handles
- You have absolutely no sense of humour.
- You are on prescribed anti-psychotic meds.
- You are currently seeing a shrink.
- You are currently undergoing ECT.
- You have OCD.
- You think spandex is fashionable.
- Your mother chooses your clothes.
- Your mother dresses you.
- You have never been further out of London than Croydon.
- You have worked in the same job since you left school.
- You want to have a threesome.
- You weren’t born when the Berlin Wall fell.
- You don’t know what the Berlin Wall even means.
- You are electronically tagged.
- You see a parole officer daily.
- You dress like Dame Edna Everage or Camilla Parker Bowles
- You live with your parents.
- The only fours books you have in your home is the Good News Bible, The Illustrated Bible, The Big Text Bible and The Bible Guide.
- You have never had sex voluntarily.
- You claim to be a nubile 30yrs old but are in reality a kid in Nigeria trying to scam me.
There… that should sort the wheat from the chaff..Sadly these are (or were) some of the escaped lunatics who contacted me on OKC. I know my profile did seem a bit like the kettle calling the teapot black but really, mine was tongue in cheek.
I’m starting to think the following;
- No-one believes in love any more
- No-one believes in monogamous long term relationships any more
- No-one wants to work at a relationship