Crimes and misdemeanors (part six)

Polly wants a cracker!

When I was doing my nursing and it was quiet I used to ring up some of the other wards and ask for fictitious characters like Penny; Penny TrateMe or Connie; Connie Lingus or Ipee; Ipee Freely..I’d do that when a new member of staff started and didn’t know anyone (or any better) was revenge for the same trick being played on me when I was new and I’m sure it still happens these days.. (no, not by me!).

Someone rang me up once when I was doing my Ward Management Exam and said her name was Mrs Smith and she was coming in for a hernia repair tomorrow (which was true as I had a list of tomorrows ops) but then she asked what parrot food we had..

I thought WTF and said pardon and she said she was going to bring her parrot in as we couldn’t expect her to leave it at home for a week, she had a cage and it was clean and not too noisy but it was very fussy about it’s what food did we supply..

I said sorry but there is no way we would allow a pet parrot on a surgical ward but then we got into this surreal argument about peoples rights and animal rights, I was just about to tell her to go fuck herself when I heard a snigger in the background..and the penny dropped, I said hang on a minute til “I check with the boss” and nipped around to the next ward and the entire staff were standing by the phone laughing at the wonderful prank they were playing on dumbo next door…I’m soo naive…bastards…

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