OK, you can try singing this to some Gilbert and Sullivan tune… deep breath.. this is the shortest list I could possibly think of;
My Favourite Things;
Sitting between my two boys
Laughing out loud
Someone’s name on my mobile display making me smile
Shared body warmth
Traffic lights staying green as I speed towards them
Laughing inappropriately (oops!)
Red sky at night
Not wearing black like everyone else
My black cooking apron
Cats…actually anything with more fur than me – barring dates.
The smell of cut grass
Anyone else’s cooking
Douches chaudes avec deux
Pretending I can speak French
Pretending I can speak intelligently
Real Christmas tree’s
Accepting everything else
Getting on a plane
Getting off same plane unscathed
My impenetrable accent
Ploughing my own furrow
Fireworks inside me
Clean sheets (is that sad?)
Ironing done (ditto?)
Bruce Willis (you won’t understand, it’s a bloke thing)
Father Ted (ditto, it’s an Irish thing)
Finding rules and stomping all over them
Dead Can Dance
Butterflies in tummy
Hot strong sweet tea
Folk saying Thank you
Connection and engaging
Getting spruced up
Life, and the stupid stupid wonderful way it all plays out!
Absolutely everyone else
Did I mention HUGS?
Obviously not an exhaustive list, except perhaps to read.
Things I don’t understand
Bling – obviously not on the same scale as above
Country and Western music
Dust – where does it come from?
Why are there no baby pigeons?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Why we don’t ever read in newspapers ‘Psychic wins a lottery’?
Where do Forest Rangers go to get away from it all?
How is it possible to have a ‘civil’ war?
Why does the word ‘lisp’ have an ‘s’ in it, is someone being cruel?
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
If a poison expires, is it still poisonous?
If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?
Would the world be a happier place if the law was that everyone had to skip instead of walk?
Stupid things I have done;
Ran into a lamp post at full speed
Was de-briefed in front of 1,000’s
Never learnt to cook proper
Never learnt to spell propery
Never learnt the meaning of the term ‘brevity’
I also…actually this could be an endless list
Books near my bedside table;
Illusions, Richard Bach
101 Things to Do Before You Are Five (!) (live?)
:59 seconds (not a reference to my sexual stamina; that would be called :13 Seconds)
The Deeper Meaning of Liff (sic)
The Cosmic Ordering Service (Would you like fries with that sir?)
Why is God Laughing? (was it something I said?)
Plan Bee (there’s always a plan B)
13 Things That Don’t Make Sense (14 if you count me)
The Bridge Across Forever
Notes From A Small Island
Notes From A Big Country
Dead Men Do Tell Tales
Essays In Love
50 Psychology Classics
How To Live Dangerously (my other bible)
Conversations With God (trust me, it’s never ending)
Life’s Missing Instruction Manual
Is it just me or is everything shit? (turns out it’s just me after all)
The Little Book Of Silly Questions
The Tipping Point
This Book Will Save Your Life (no, it won’t, two evening of my life I want back)
NLP For (shop) Dummies
Thirty Days Has September
Red Herrings and White Elephants
In Exile From The Land Of Snows
The REALLY Good Orgasm Guide
Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Love
The Queen’s English
The Way Of The Superior Man
(I fully intend to read them someday!)
All Stieg Larssons ‘The Girl..’ movies
The original Swedish ‘Let The Right One In’
Oh Brother Where Art Thou
The Hours (blew me away)
The Princess Bride
Stranger Then Fiction
50 first Dates
Enchanted (so sorry!)
The new Star Trek (so soooo sorry!)
The Truman Show
Dead Poets Society
Shrek 1 & 2 but definitely not 3
and I hate to admit it but Robert Downey Jr. in Iron man was surprisingly excellent
(Have to admit to loving watching The Big Bang Theory with my two beasties..)