Will-i-am and Kate MiddleClass

Anyone want to take three guesses as to which photo will dominate all English language newspapers tomorrow – of course you won’t need three guesses.

Oh, surprise surprise, I would never have guessed!

Am bit surprised that I didn’t received my invite, after all I’ve met nearly all the Royals (Charlie boy twice) and I thought I was almost family – albeit an embarrassing distance Irish throwback that no-one wants to talk about, not only that but as a tax payer I think I have paid a fair share of the wedding costs and can’t understand why I didn’t get my invite, and talking about taxes, Kate Middleton is actually unemployed and therefore should be the last person attending this wedding, at least not until she gets a proper job.

Secretly I wonder how William feels about having to take Kate down to the Dole every Tuesday morning and get her to sign on so she gets her Job Seekers Allowance, between thou and I it’s a bit embarrassing really and how she is going to afford to pay the rent for Clarence House on £60.50 per week, perhaps we should pass the hat around for her, like that’s not even enough to buy a decent pair of shoes, is it and I wonder what he will do, drive around the corner so no-one spots him and then get Kate to walk around to the Dole Office herself?

So, considering she is unemployed, (grinning vacantly at flag waving crowds is not actually a proper job), I’d like to make a few suggestions if she wants to earn a buck or two, namely she could star in a few television programs, for example just looking at this weeks TV listing we could adjust the format slightly and sell it abroad for zillions;

Who Do You Think You Are Royal Special,

(Special Guest Star: James Hewitt! )

So You Think You Can Dance (Like a Royal)?

65 million of us have watched the JK wedding dance videos, I think Will-i-am and Kate should take to the floor to perform the climactic scene from Dirty Dancing in front of a panel of judges including Simon Cowell and Arlene Phillips. The public decides which is best and they have to dance like this at the reception, beamed to an audience of bajillions.

And other suggestions;

Pimp My Royal Wedding Coach

Royal Snog, Marry, Avoid.

Royal Name That Foreign Dignitary.

The Real Housewives of Buckingham Palace.

London, of course, is stuffed to the gills with British royalists but they are far outnumbered by a golden shower of dignitaries and American news crews broadcasting their entire programs from Westminster, it’s actually getting to be a bit embarrassing as they are having problems finding someone with an English accent..or even an Irish one ;)