So, I blogged earlier about Facebook and it’s facial recognition system and how it would be a good idea if we could install that software into our own heads so we never forget a face, the amount of times I’ve been to meetings and parties and I can’t remember someones name… well, it’s getting worse as I get older… but then I was thinking, what other good ideas are there out there, things that makes you wonder why no-one hasn’t thought of them before…
When driving on a long journey are you worried about falling asleep? Well, there is now a simple cure; put a bee or a wasp in the car and keep the windows closed. Come on, we all know that for the next 12 hours you are going to do nothing but flap your hands around the place but there is an added benefit because if you accelerate really fast then this will keep throwing the bee to the back of the car and you get to your destination quicker. It’s basically a win-win situation, maybe not for the bee but for the driver. At petrol stations you could have another little pump that that you fill up with wasps or bee’s depending upon your preference and one of those little hand held pump dispensers filled with jam so you can top up with jam too.
But a word of warning, I was in a small car years ago with a friend who hated bee’s and wasps, so obviously one got in and I’m telling you, this guy was huge and the wasp was tiny compared to him but he panicked and nearly drove his car into the path of an oncoming truck, not only did I see his arms flashing about in front of my eyes but I also saw my life flashing before my eyes, after we narrowly avoided that he practically jumped out of the car whilst we were still doing 30 MPH!
So, what else? Well, how about walking boots with Sat Nav? I know you can get running shoes that connect to all sorts of gizmo’s like the Garmin SatNav but what about shoes with built-in SatNav so they could walk you home when you’re drunk and you would never get lost, or you could program them to take you on the scenic route to work on random days, and you’d never knew exactly when you are about to go on a magical mystery tour – over a cliff.
Then what about nicely flavoured envelopes, I don’t know about you lot but every time I have to seal an envelope before posting it I always go yuck at the gum, how about some nice sweet tasting gum. Of course there is a chance that your kids will sneak in when you aren’t looking and lick all the gum off – or your dog – and then you have non-stick envelopes but it’s worth a shot.
And what about a one way system in supermarkets, how many times have you been caught in a shopping cart traffic jam in the aisle, lets just sort that out once and for all, enforce a one way system and even put traffic police at the end of the aisle, and if you forget something then you have to go back to the start and begin again.
Then what about car windscreen wipers that keeps to the beat of what ever’s playing on your car radio, that would be much more fun, you might even begin to enjoy a drive in the rain.. and blinkers/indicators that bleep/flash in time to your music…
And what about a standardised Chinese takeaway menu’s so they all had the use the exact same numbers for the same food, that way you can ring up any Chinese takeaway and order in full confidence, you would know, no matter what Chinese you rang up that all you have to do is bark number 13, 23 and 42 down the phone and you’d know exactly what you are getting..
And finally, what about venetian blinds trousers, if it gets too hot then pull a string and viola, the blinds open up to let the breeze blow in, and this doesn’t have to be restricted to trousers, it can be any item of clothes, your shirt, jumper, teeshirt, even your shorts if you are feeling really brave – or hot. Oh and what about crossing a hamster with a mole, then you have a family pet that when it dies it’s already buried itself.. Yeah, I know, I’m sick!