Last month I wrote a Letter To Myself, Aged Ten but this morning I was thinking about reversing it, trying another tack, I thought I’d write to my future self rather than my past self..
Well, age 60 seems like a good age to write to myself, a good point as it’s ten years and two weeks away.. I know you are sitting there reading this and have been in love for ages, not just with that big honey sitting beside you but also with life itself and you’ve always known this, always known that someone, somewhere, loves you deeply and you’ve tried to remain true to yourself and your beliefs about how this little game of life works and I know it’s been a bit frustrating at times but all’s well that ends well.
In some ways I’m envious of you at age 60, you see, every ten years I’ve grown and expanded in leaps and bounds and my confidence in who I am and my belief in myself is growing stronger with each passing day so in the last ten years my world has expanded beyond all recognition and you sit there in ten years and I wonder just how far my world has expanded where you are now.
I have no doubts about certain things, I will be in love and my book will be very successful and I certainly won’t be doing the job I am down now but will be doing what I am meant to be doing – which is teaching, these things are a given but there are certain things I wonder about from here in Jan. 27th 2011.. I wonder where you are living – please god let it be somewhere warmer than South London and please God let it be somewhere green and I hope you have a garden!
I know you can sit there with a wise old face and smile, you old bugger but I still have all these adventures ahead of me, and I hope you still have a lot more adventures ahead of you too! And I wonder, are you envious of me here and now, how was it, the next ten years – a pain in the backside, or a wonderful ride… or both :)
I hope the beasties do OK, I have tried to prepare them but you know how it is, it’s the things that blindside you 4am on a Tuesday morning that catch you out, they should be out of University now – assuming they both went and I’m hoping they are happy, of course they will have read all this blog by now and thought Dad knows fuck all as their main preoccupation will be with the opposite sex like mine was at their age but perhaps in time the lessons might sink in. OK OK I’m also curious about the sex question… well of course I am! Does it get better, I wrote in one of my earlier blogs about Late Onset Sex and I wonder if that’s true, my instincts tell me it is but still, would be nice to know so if you could just pen an email and send it back 10 years in time that would be very nice of you…ermm me.
What else, well, I’m pretty sure the world is not going to end next year in 2012, do you remember all those scare stories you used to watch as a kid about the coming ice-age and these days it’s global warming.. well, now we are all thinking the worlds going to end on the 23rd or so of December. You of course know different but I don’t think there’s going to be any physical change but possible a more subtle change – perhaps a change in attitudes, a change in the way folk see this world but you will have the benefit of hindsight and be able to smile sweetly and laugh at all our uncertainties – assuming of course the world didn’t end in 2012!
And yes, I DO know this, I bloody well posted it, you don’t need to rub my nose in it ;p
Hmmmm suspect I will be coming back to this subject.. 70…80…90..100..