How To Speak Fluent Norn Iron; Part Five

and we don't mean in the biblical sense.

And yet another in my series of how to edumacate all you’s lot inta how to spake Norn Iron;

“Me gutties is neuked.”
My trainers/sneakers are leaking.

“I’m sick to my stummick luckin’ at him sittin’ there with a face like a cowl poultice.”
The long version of “he’s a miserable sod”

“She has as many wrinkles on her face as would hold a fortnight’s rain.”
She is not young.

“It’s that wee you could sit on the toilet and pay the milkman at the front door.”
The house is tiny.

“Yousens”
When addressing more than one person

“He could’na pull the skin off a rice pudding” or “He’s as weak as a cuppa tea” or “he couldn’t fight his way out’a  a paper bag”
You probably don’t need me to explain these ones.

“That wee girl can’t haff act”
A right little madam that deserves a good slap.

“Thats balleex”
That’s not true my good man.

“FaakAaf”
Excuse me my good man, kindly vacate the premises

“Magic”
Not tricks, but another word meaning great or good

“Moufycunt”
Rather outspoken person.

“Aye, go get some money off the money tree at the bottom of the garden and you can have it..”
What-ever you asked for, you definitely aren’t getting it.

These below are just some of the expressions throw around at home, you can probably figure out what most of them mean;

There are two sides to every story, and twelve versions of a song.
He who comes with a story to you will bring two away from you.
It is not a secret if it is known to three people.
A friend’s eye is a good mirror.
Two shorten the road.
When the drink is inside, the sense is outside.
Time is a great storyteller.
The hen has ruffled feathers until she rears her brood.
Patience is a poultice for all wounds. (aka time heals all)
There is no need like the lack of a friend.
A light heart lives long.