Humans. MkII

It occurs to me that when The Committee upstairs made humans they made one small but rather short-sighted mistake. They got rid of the tail. Now, I can see the logic in this, it gets caught in doors, it gets in the way of sitting down and clumsy clods can step on it, but I […]

Happily Ever After

Dear children.. Once upon a time in a very strange land called Singledom, there lived an ever so slightly green (and occasionally windy) ogre called Grog. He wasn’t rich, famous or even particularly clever but he was kind, decent, had a good heart, and really, that’s all that mattered to him. Before making the long […]

37 Rules For Life.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for […]

Darwinism Disproven

I think it’s time for me to collect yet another Nobel Prize as I have come up with final proof that Darwinism – whilst a lovely logical notion – is complete bollocks. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I’ve come to realise that natural selection has a very obvious fatal flaw – […]

It’s more than just a car..

An unlucky lady drove into my parked car last week, mine and the car behind it. She was distracted, lost control and bashed into my car and then the car behind me at some speed. Fortunately she was totally unharmed, just shocked but all three cars were totally wrecks.The insurance man came, took one look […]

USA v UK

I found this on the interweb the other day; I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here’s some of what I noticed: * Almost everyone is very polite * The food is generally outstanding * There are no guns * There are too many narrow stairs * Everything […]

Nobel Prize #3

It looks like I’m up for my third Nobel Prize for Science; I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! Ladies, do you use shampoo in the shower? Well when I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, “FOR […]

Doris McKee

My mother Doris passed away suddenly last week so I thought I’d pen a few thoughts. The over-riding thing I remember about Doris is her determination to do things her own way and sod the rules. The Doris I knew was completely unflappable, she played by her own rules whilst on this earth, she never […]

Men brains verses women’s brains

Men’s brains and women’s brains are very different from each other. First, I want to start with men’s brains. Men’s brains are very unique. Men’s brains are made up of little boxes. Most women don’t realize that we have a box for everything. We’ve got a box for the car. We’ve got a box for […]