I keep rewriting this because it just doesn’t feel finished.
It’s interesting how my priorities have changed as I’ve got older. When I was younger (for younger – read in my 40’s) and browsing dating profiles the main criteria was did I fancy them, did I have that rush of blood from my head down into my nether regions. I wasn’t thinking long term, I wasn’t even thinking short term, in fact due to the absence of blood in my head I wasn’t actually thinking at all as we all know that blokes don’t have enough blood for both organs and consequently don’t think for a lot of the time.
However, I’ve come to realise that my priorities have changed quite a lot as the years have sped past, now it’s still good to have that rush of blood, in fact it’s imperative to have that rush of blood but these days I’m getting better at keeping at least some of that brain fuel in my noggin and I’ve been re-ordering my priorities. Now when I’m viewing profiles online I’m looking for that rush of blood but that’s not enough, now I’m thinking long term, thinking do I or could I build a life with that person, I’m not looking to date, I’m looking for something much more long term and this has become a bigger priority the older I get. One of my favourite saying (translated from Arabic) is: ‘one should not break their fast with an onion’ and the older I get the more this resonates with me.
Roughly 50% of couples divorce and that means at this age there are a lot of folk out there in the local Singlehood who are trying to survive, trying to make ends meet, trying to provide for their kids and do the right thing. Of course there are some buggers out there who are just shits but I’m not talking about them, I’m talking about the souls out the trying to make it through to the end of the week and to a large degree I’m part of this Singlehood. And I’ve thought a lot about what I want, I want the rush of blood to the nether regions but also I’m at that stage now where that I want a rush of blood to the heart too.
There are pivotal moments in everyone’s lives, aren’t there and I’ve had many but some of the ones that stick out are being a witness to so many special moments, I’ve borne witness to Doris and Bob meeting and falling in love in her 80’s, I’ve borne witness to Alfred and Florence and the ballet they’ve learnt to do around each other, and I have borne witness to the complete love and trust Albert Vine gave (and received) from his mother when he and I were just rough teenagers in Northern Ireland, and I have witnessed so much more, I have spent many hours holding hands as the sick slip away and comforting their families listening to their stories and how the love of your family and your friends is the only thing that really matters at the end of the day, and I see all this, and now the lesson has eventually sunk in.
This is the legacy I have inherited from my fifty years stomping around this planet and from my mother Doris, I don’t want to just settle for someone hot, someone that only stirs my passions, I want more; I want someone who stirs my heart, who stirs my mind, who stirs my soul, someone who gives me butterflies, someone who will sacrifice themselves for me just as much as I will sacrifice myself for them, someone who will work at a relationship and see the bigger picture, someone who will not think in terms of ‘me’ and ‘you’ but in terms of ‘us’ and ‘us’ can be more than just us two but our families and friends as well, someone who knows that one and one can equal so much more than two, someone who will, at times fight me, and fight for me just as much as I’ll fight for her, someone to share not just the sadness and the trauma of life but also the exhilarating pleasures and joy of life, someone to grow old with, someone that I can’t imagine living without, someone who gives me that rush of blood to my heart.
This is how I’ve changed in the last few years, how my priorities have broadened, grown up, and I live in hope, because if Doris can hold out and settle only for true love then so can I.
Of course having nice boobs helps ;)