Breaking News..

Today’s breaking news in the papers is that President Obama has given up fags. Yes, fags in the UK means cigarettes so picking up a fag here or lighting up a fag are quite a normal expression – unlike in the States where I believe it means something altogether less savoury, apparently bumming a fag […]

Fat Bottomed Girls

  So I have a friend who works in the same block as me and he’s not only very tall but also somewhat heavily built, erm let’s be honest here and call a spade a spade, he’s fat. And  over the years that I have known him he’s went through a whole string of girlfriends […]

Paperback Raita

In America, whenever a shop closes, it is invariably replaced by a Starbucks, I know this to be true because I saw it on the Simpson’s. However, in Tooting, south-west London, whenever a shop closes down, it is invariably replaced with an Indian restaurant. I’m mentioning this because I was just out getting some bits […]

Crimes and misdemeanors – More Dog Tails!

Did I mention I worked at Battersea Dogs Home, I lasted four hours….yes, a whole morning at Battersea Dogs home, I pitched up and they gave me two pairs of wellies and three teeshirts with Battersea Dogs Home logo on them and set me to work. it all seemed to be going OK until they […]

Crimes and misdemeanours part eight – Dog Tails

Dogs and me have history..  I was young…I’m much better behaved these days… promise Years ago when I lived in Ireland and was living by myself I really wanted a dog so off I trotted to the local animal shelter with friend Carl and he got this huge Bulldog sort of monster and I got […]

Dogs, The Universe and playing my part

OK this is to try to counter and redress all the flank I’m going to get from dog lovers because of the previous post, it’s a long dogs tail (sic) but it was the Universe playing with me.. if you can’t be arsed to read it all then just read the last paragraph. Years ago […]

Crimes and misdemeanours, Part 7. Green Fingers?

Despite being somewhat mischievous, I’ve lead a reasonably sheltered life – at least from a illegal activities point of view, I haven’t ever got a speeding ticket-although Wandsworth council seems to intent on sticking parking tickets on my car for no reason at all. So a few summers ago I met She Who Shall Not […]

People have an instinctive need to belong… Doh!

Epiphany time, people have an instinctive need to belong… Doh! OK, the Universe has been trying to tell me this for many years but I have been too thick to see it, I suppose it’s more to do with not having a mentor in this life and having to learn all the lessons the hard […]

Paddy’s Day

Well now, it seems I really shouldn’t try blogging at five in the morning because at five in the morning my brain is able to remember which countries Saint George is the patron saint of; (Portugal, Greece, Georgia [which probably had first dibs on him], Lithuania, Ethiopia, Palestine and Catalonia) but I’m completely incapable of […]