Are you taking the piss?

I’m a bit like a doggie,  I mean in the sense that as far as I’m concerned whatever I pee on automatically becomes mine, I own it. I think that’s quite reasonable and I’m sure every single mutt in the world would agree with me. Therefore I now own; Buckingham Palace Clarence House St. James […]

Letter to my future self – aged 60

Last month I wrote a Letter To Myself, Aged Ten but this morning I was thinking about reversing it, trying another tack, I thought I’d write to my future self rather than my past self.. Well, age 60 seems like a good age to write to myself, a good point as it’s ten years and […]

Crimes and misdemeanors (part four)

OK, not sure really if I should confess to this but bugger it, no-one knows where I live, not even me sometimes. When I was 24 and still living in Northern Ireland I used to go along to my mates Trevor’s house and give him a lift to his footie match on Saturday mornings and […]

Playing hard to get?

Does ‘playing hard to get’ work? Well, does it? What do you think? Do you think you would have more dates or less dates if you played hard to get, what is the best strategy – apart from what your friends tell you? Hmmm, rather than ask your unscientific friends, why not ask a real […]

One lump or two?

Here’s a test for all you brain boxes out there, what is so special about the Mayor of High Wycombe, what does s/he (and his/her top staff) do in May every year that no other mayor in the whole wide world does? The clues in the picture.  Not just the mayor of High Wycombe but […]

Are my testicles black?

We (ex) nurses tend to see the world in a slightly different way from Joe Public, words and phrases in common day use tend to make us smile, for example; feedback, when a tutor says to us ‘give me some feedback’ we all titter and immediately think of vomit. Another one is motion, if someone […]

Cogito ergo sum.

Mel Brooks once said “Look, I really don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I […]

Marmite Nuts.

Dear Agony Aunt, OK, this won’t mean too much to anyone across the pond but in the UK we have Marmite which we spread thinly on our toast, you either love it or hate it.. full stop. Only the English could sell something using that tag-line. So my part-time flatmate loves it, above is a […]

Questions reporters never ask.

Here in the UK we got a new government last May, a Lib-Con coalition and the outgoing administration was Labour. The BBC is obviously very keen to ask the new Prime Minister David Cameron, lots of policy questions about the economy and how the UK is going to handle the Credit Crunch.. I, on the […]

The safest building in Britain?

This is Senate House, London WC1E 7HU. part of UCL, I had to go visit there a few months ago because they run an effing huge computing centre there and wanted to host our services there too. Interesting building, completed in 1937, it has two claims to fame, one well known, one not so well […]